It’s an ugly reality. Your cursor just sits there flashing at you in a mocking fashion. It’s incessant blinking is silent and yet its as if it is audibly taunting you as if to say, “Well hey there. How’s it going? Having a little trouble are you? Hmmm? Well, keep trying but its not going to happen! See? Watch this! Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink.”
(I know that some of you are probably seriously worried about me since I am hearing voices from an electronic device. Sure sign of a lunatic right? But I have one word for you. Siri. So don’t judge me for hearing voices from my computer.)
The infamous WB has been my greatest frustration lately and has left me feeling somewhat suffocated. It’s like the kind of suffocation during an anxiety attack when stress becomes so great that you literally lose control of your ability to inhale and exhale. This simple bodily function that you have been doing since you were first born, an act that you were never taught but instead just innately did, suddenly becomes not so innate. You literally find yourself instructing your lungs to take in air and willing yourself to release it. If you have never had an episode like this…be glad. I have only had one or two minor situations like this and I don’t wish to relive it. I suppose that is the way I have felt lately about this blog in a much less dramatic kind of way. The last two weeks have been difficult for me to keep up with posting as well as be inspired enough to share my thoughts. Something I once did so easily, so innately, has felt like a struggle. My creativity, my passion for words and pictures, has been heavy lately. Maybe it’s because life has gotten incredibly crazy living in such a big city. Maybe its because I feel like I have so much to do that I can’t stay afloat. But honestly, more likely, maybe it’s because I’m focused on the wrong thing.
To my great regret, I’ve realized lately that my focus has shifted so much to all that I have to DO and not why I am doing it. That my friends is an important distinction. I have allowed my busy schedule to dictate the amount of joy I find in that schedule. Big mistake. It is all to the praise of His glory. Anything else is suffocating.
Encouraged today to have the right perspective and remember the joy that comes from doing everything unto the Lord. So, with that breath of fresh air I say to my blinking cursor, ‘take that!’ Yep, still talking to my electronics!
Have a Happy Friday!
(This picture was taken at my sister’s engagement shoot last weekend in Orlando. It reminds me that God is big and I am small. I really like it that way.)